What is Tom Brady's favorite opera?

Deflatermaus! (Die Fledermaus!)

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Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why did the hipsters die of dehydration?

They stayed away from the mainstream.

What is the difference between the regular police and the secret service?

The secret service is the only police that gets in trouble if a black person dies. Shamelessly stolen from the correspondents' dinner.

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How do you think the whole Deflategate situation feels to Tom Brady now?

Probably doesn't feel how he prefers it to...

What do Anna Nicole Smith and Tom Brady have in common?

They both like saggy balls.