What is Tom Brady's favorite opera?

Deflatermaus! (Die Fledermaus!)

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What do you with a dying chemist?

Well, if you can't helium and you can't curium, all you can do is barium!

What's it called when a hippy hangs himself?

Tie-die

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How do you think the whole Deflategate situation feels to Tom Brady now?

Probably doesn't feel how he prefers it to...

How does Tom Brady like his soda?

Flat.