Washing Machine Jokes

Why is the washing machine so grumpy?

It keeps getting agitated

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Whats the difference between a washing machine and a woman?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

What's yellow and goes around?

A banana in the washing machine.

What's the difference between a woman and a laundry machine?

When I dump a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around after

What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine?

A washing machine won't follow you around after you dump your load in it.

Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women?

Because a woman who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you.

Whats the difference between a girl and a washing machine?

When I dump a load in the washing machince, it doesnt follow me around

Whats the difference between a hippy chick and a washing machine?

When you drop a load in, it doesn't follow you around for 6 months trying to get spun. 8)

What's the difference between a blond and a washing machine?

When you drop a load into a washing machine it doesn't follow you around for a week.

What's the difference between a baby and a washing machine?

A washing machine doesn't cry when it takes a load.

Why are almost all brides dresses white?

So the dishwasher matches the washing machine

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What did the libertarian shirt say when it was thrown into the washing machine?

AM I BEING DE-STAINED?!

Why did the washing machine stop?

Somebody threw the towel in.

What's the difference between a washing machine and your mom?

The last time I dumped a load into the washing machine, she didn't follow me around for a week!

Whats the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

When I drop a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around for a week.

Why is a woman unlike a washing machine?

After you throw a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow you around.

What's the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?

You can throw your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you around for two weeks afterward

How do you turn a washing machine into a snowblower?

Give her a shovel.

What do a washing machine and a one night stand have in common?

a washing machine doesn't follow you around for a week after you put a load in it..

What's the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

If I dump a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around for the next few weeks.

Whats the difference between a Blonde and a Washing Machine?

The Washing Machine will not follow you around for 2 weeks after you dump a load in it!

What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine?

You don't have to hug a washing machine half an hour after it finishes

What's the difference between an 18 year-old girl and a washing machine?

When you dump a load in the washer, it will not follow you around for two months.

What's the difference between your mama and a washing machine?

The washing machine doesn't follow me around for a week after I dump a load in it.

What is agitated buy joyful?

A washing machine

What's the difference between a Surrey girl and a washing machine?

When you drop a load in a washing machine it doesn't text you every hour for a week.

What's the difference between a laundry machine and a girl?

The washing machine doesn't get upset if I dump a load in it and never call back

What do you do when your washing machine breaks down?

Give her a slap

What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head ?

Sister Matic !

What's the difference between a girl and a washing machine?

When I dump a load into the washing machine it doesn't follow me around

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?

A wash and wear wolf

What is the difference between a washing machine and a girl?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

What is the difference between my girlfriend and a washing machine?

After I dump my load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around.

What's the difference between an 18yo and a washing machine?

You can dump your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you round for two weeks telling you it loves you

What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head?

Sister-Matic

What's grey and goes round and round ?

An elephant in a washing machine !

What's the difference between your sister and a washing machine?

A washing machine only takes one load at a time.

What's the difference between a washing machine and a virgin?

A washing machine doesn't follow the guy around for 2 weeks after he drops a load in it.

How do you get a dozen eggs out of a washing machine in less than a minute?

i'm serious... help.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.

Why do baby clothes have pockets?

I've never heard a baby say: "cigarettes,phone and keys alright let's go"

Text Jokes More Text Jokes

Why did the baker rob the deer park?

He kneaded the doe. (Doesn't work too well in text)

When a guy texts "your beautiful," reply with "my beautiful what?

then laugh and laugh and never talk to that nice idiot again.

Laundromat Jokes More Laundromat Jokes

How is your mom just like a laundromat?

For a dollar in quarters she will take my load.

Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women?

Because a woman who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What do you call cute seeds?

Awwwwwwwwwwwwmonds P.S. it's my birthday please love me

What would you get if you crossed a monster with the god of love?

A stupid Cupid!

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What is harder said than done?

Your mom

What do you call a kid who's dad is Jamaican and mom is Chinese?

Rastafriedrice

Night Stand Jokes More Night Stand Jokes

What does a hardware salesman do on a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.

What do robots do on a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

How do you pick up a feminist?

Like a bowling ball.

What's the difference between garbage and a girl from New Jersey?

Garbage gets picked up!

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

What's in a Paul Walker shot ?

An Irish car bomb followed by a shot of Fireball

What's the difference between a washing machine and a virgin?

A washing machine doesn't follow the guy around for 2 weeks after he drops a load in it.