Night Stand Jokes

What does someone from Alabama say after a one night stand?

Wham, bam, thank you fam"

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What does a robot do after a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts

What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.

What do a washing machine and a one night stand have in common?

a washing machine doesn't follow you around for a week after you put a load in it..

What does a hardware salesman do on a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.

What does a mechanic do for a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.

What do robots do on a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts

What does a robot do at the end of one night stand?

He falls off

What do you do when your one night stand doesn't take Plan B?

Plan C-ya.

Why doesn't Kirk like to have one-night stands?

Because the girls always cling on him afterwards.

What does a carpenter do after one night stand?

A matching one for the other side of the bed.

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What do you call a one-night stand?

A humpty-dumpty!

What does the Doctor say on a one-night stand going wrong?

It's bigger on the inside(http://www.youtube.com/watch v=6zXDo4dL7SU)

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

How long is the flight?

A Polish man calls up an airline. "How long is the flight from Chicago to Warsaw?" "One minute..." "Thank you."

How do you show your appreciation towards black holes?

Thanks for nothing!

Mechanic Jokes More Mechanic Jokes

What time does a mechanic wake up?

Oily!

What kind of Mechanics fix and break your car at the same time?

Quantum Mechanics.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What do you call going Doctor to Doctor... What do you call going Doctor to Doctor to figure out what your inflammatory bowel disease is called?

A Game of Crohn's.

What did the doctor give the Asari with an STD?

Anti-biotics

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why did Jesus quit playing hockey?

He kept getting nailed to the boards.

What do Jesus and my high school girlfriend have in common?

They both bled for me.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden?

A. They were really put out.

What did the overweight woman say to Buffalo Bill when she woke up?

I can't feel my face when I'm with you...

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why did you put a toad in your sister's bed?

Son: I couldn't find a spider.

Why can't a blonde dial 911?

Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: She can't find the eleven.

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

How do you tell if you've lost an argument on Facebook?

Well first you're are in an argument on Facebook.

Why are shopaholics in the UK generally very skinny?

Because they are always losing pounds.

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

When you see a girl who was hot in high school, but a decade later she's not https://www.youtube.com/watch?

v=6-RfZDiayDI

What did the guy Zebra say to the girl Zebra?

Take ze bra off.