What does a carpenter do after one night stand?

A matching one for the other side of the bed.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What's long and hard and full of seamen?

The tube sock under my bed.

What has a mouth but never speaks, Has a bed but never sleeps, And has legs but never walks?

amp;nbsp; A mute, crippled insomniac

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is dog.

What did the house turn into on the night of the full moon?

A Warehouse.

Night Stand Jokes More Night Stand Jokes

Why doesn't Kirk like to have one-night stands?

Because the girls always cling on him afterwards.

What does a robot do after a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts

Match Jokes More Match Jokes

Why couldn't Bing start a fire?

No matches founds

Why are the new iPhones so skinny?

To match their hipster owners' jeans.

Carpenter Jokes More Carpenter Jokes

Why does no one want to work in the yard with a carpenter?

Because they take a fence to that.

Why don't you ask Joseph, the carpenter?

God: Uh huge grin cos I'm banging his wife raises hand up top