Whats the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

When I drop a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around for a week.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a hipster and a fire hose?

It takes more than one hipster to push the black people out of a neighborhood.

What's the difference between Jimmy Fallon and myself?

I can get through a Jimmy Fallon joke without laughing.

S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats a sugar free drink's favorite abbreviation?

0mg

Whats a pirate's favorite letter?

You'd think it would be R but its actually the c!" Aye matey

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What's more annoying on the internet, a troll or spam?

Your mom!

Why did the guy that owned a chocolate building bang his mom?

Because he had an edible complex.

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

What do you get when you drop a Hawaiian pizza?

Pearl Harbor pizza.

What did Pontius Pilate say to Jesus?

If you drop that damn Cross again you are out of my Parade.

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

What's the difference between a woman and a laundry machine?

When I dump a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around after

What do you call a Corvette following a Camaro at high speeds?

Chevy Chase.

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

Why did the physicist move across the street from the haunted graveyard?

To observe spooky action at a distance! Thank you, I'll be here all week.

Why did Kim Jong-il die a week before December 25th?

Because Rudolph is the only deer leader at Christmas.

Load Jokes More Load Jokes

What is the difference between my girlfriend and a washing machine?

After I dump my load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around.

How do you tell if someone online is American?

They keep their caps locked and guns loaded. (Not the best and not original)

Washing Machine Jokes More Washing Machine Jokes

What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine?

A washing machine won't follow you around after you dump your load in it.

What is the difference between my girlfriend and a washing machine?

After I dump my load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around.