Whats the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

When I drop a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around for a week.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Gabe Newell and a toddler?

A toddler can count past two...

What's the difference between a sperm bank and an regular bank?

When you start to make deposits at the sperm bank, you loose interest

S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats the most stupid thing you've seen a Bernie Sanders supporter do?

Vote for Bernie in a primary.

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton never lost a bag of coke out the window.

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

How do you estimate your kids lifespan?

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

What's the difference between a waitress and your mom?

A waitress leaves me alone after I give her the tip.

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

How many rudeboys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Twenty. 1 to drop it, 19 to go "Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up".

Why do clumsy farmers make awesome DJ's?

cause they're always dropping beets

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

Why didn't Vietnam return to feudalism following 1975?

Cause Charlie don't serf.

What artistic dog chews a lot and follows the rules of the farm where it lives?

A Chihuahua that can draw and gnaw while obeying the law and lying on straw!

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

What did the tiger say to the detective?

I'm not lion. Ill be here all week...

What's a nuns favorite day of the week?

Sununday.

Load Jokes More Load Jokes

What did the guy say after he finished jacking off?

Well that got a load off my mind.

Whats the difference between a washing machine and a woman?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

Washing Machine Jokes More Washing Machine Jokes

What's the difference between a washing machine and your mom?

The last time I dumped a load into the washing machine, she didn't follow me around for a week!

What's yellow and goes around?

A banana in the washing machine.