What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?

A wash and wear wolf

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Wash Jokes More Wash Jokes

Where's your wedding ring?

I said, "I had to wash my hands so I took it off and placed it on my lover--I mean your mother's kitchen counter."

What do you get when you mix a Mexican and an octopus?

I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why do Java programmers wear glasses?

Because they don't C#.

What shoes do roosters wear?

Chickenstocks

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

Who plays those kind of jokes anymore?

You're scaring my wife. She's only 12, jeez.

What kind of pants does Mario wear?

Denim Denim. Denim

Wolf Jokes More Wolf Jokes

What cars do wolves drive?

Auuuuuuuuuuuuudis!

Why wouldn't the piglet's mother let her read romantic novels?

She was afraid her daughter would run away with a wolf.

Washing Machine Jokes More Washing Machine Jokes

What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine?

A washing machine won't follow you around after you dump your load in it.

What's the difference between a woman and a laundry machine?

When I dump a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around after

Monster Jokes More Monster Jokes

What has 40 teeth and holds a monster at bay?

My zipper.

How are monster trucks made?

ME: Son, when a monster and a truck love each oth- GF: glares ME: He's old enough for the facts, Jane