Why was the monster standing on his head?

He was turning things over in his mind.

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Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What do you call a special needs sheep that got turned into a blanket?

A down comforter.

Why do neurologists think they're God?

Because they can turn any animal into a vegetable!

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What is the last thing a tossed salad says to itself before being devoured by a human?

A: Lettuce pray

What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and his E-Wheelchair?

If you repair both, the E-Wheelchair is the only thing running again

Mind Jokes More Mind Jokes

What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley?

A: The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.

What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train the other trains the mind.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What does NASCAR stand for?

Non-athletic-sport-centered-around-rednecks (I heard this forever ago and wanted to share. Sorry if it happens to be a repost.)

Why is the robot good at one night stands?

Because he nuts and bolts.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What do members of secret societies use when they get a head cold?

An Illumi-neti pot

What did on western cheese say to the other?

You gouda bounty on your head. You cheddar be here when I get back.

Monster Jokes More Monster Jokes

How can you get a set of teeth put in for free?

Smack a monster.

What would you get if you crossed a monster with the god of love?

A stupid Cupid!