Why was the monster standing on his head?

He was turning things over in his mind.

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Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

Why did the Canadian DJ turn down a gig at a local gym?

Because why MC, eh

What happens when a pirate turns 60?

He joins AARP

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why do countries "cut ties" when things get tense ?

So weird having men walk around in suits and half ties.

What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?

Walks home.

Mind Jokes More Mind Jokes

What's the difference between a teacher and a conductor on the railroad?

One trains the mind the other minds the train.

What was the first thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 victims?

Their knees! Please comment "No"

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What does the H stand for in Jesus H Christ?

Lame Joke Haploid

What letter stands for the ocean?

The letter C.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What do you call a man with a large flatfish on his head?

Ray!

Whatcha call that?

Head over heels.

Monster Jokes More Monster Jokes

What's the difference between Tinder and the PokemonGo app?

Nothing, it both requires swiping to find monsters in your area.

How did Dr Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?

On a piece rate.