What's the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

If I dump a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around for the next few weeks.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between garbanzo beans an chickpeas?

I don't have to play $50 for a garbanzo bean in my face.

Whats the difference between an easily offended person and a gun?

A gun actually does something when triggered.

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

When a guy yells out, "Linda why didn't you give your mom any grandkids?

She yelled back, "Because I swallowed them all!"

How did your mom know you hadn't washed your face?

I forgot to wet the soap.

Dump Jokes More Dump Jokes

What about the other baby?

Obi-wan:*shrugs* Dump him in a desert somewhere

What does Madeleine McCann and Bin Laden have in common?

They both got their backdoors smashed in before being dumped in the sea

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

What artistic dog chews a lot and follows the rules of the farm where it lives?

A Chihuahua that can draw and gnaw while obeying the law and lying on straw!

How do you find a drug dealer donkey?

Just follow his coke mules.

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

What's the difference between the jokes I read today, and the jokes I read last week?

The posters

What do you call enchilada sauce bkessed by a priest?

A: HOLY MOLE' Thank you, I'll be in r/dadjokes all week!

Load Jokes More Load Jokes

What should you not put in the washer with a load full of towels?

A towel full of loads

What's the difference between an 18yo and a washing machine?

You can dump your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you round for two weeks telling you it loves you

Washing Machine Jokes More Washing Machine Jokes

Why are almost all brides dresses white?

So the dishwasher matches the washing machine

What is agitated buy joyful?

A washing machine