What does a nut say when it sneezes?

Cashew.

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What did the pirate with the steering wheel in his pants say?

Argh it's driving me nuts!"

What did one nut say as he chased another nut?

I'm a cashew!

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What illness makes you sneeze on your laptop screen?

A computer virus!

Why do sharks swim in salt water?

Because pepper water makes them sneeze!