What does a weed addict day when something miraculous happens?

Dank god

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What would have happened if asians had committed the attacks of 9/11?

10/11 with rice, thanks for your suggestion

What happens when you die?

Me: You go to heaven. 4: No, I mean when you die, do I get your stuff

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What do you call weed grown in a ceramic container?

Pothead plants.

What do you call a lighter that is only used for weed?

A highlighter Edit: Or a Bud Light Courtesy of u/isnottoast