What does IKEA furniture do when it's stolen?

Activates its shelf destruct sequence. I'll see myself out...

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What's the difference between an illegal Mexican and an autonomous robot...?

Nothing... they were both made to steal American jobs.

What do you call a Mexican who's car got stolen?

Carlos.

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What did the sprinter with diarrhea do during the race?

He activated his bo... LOL

What does IKEA furniture do when it's stolen?

Activates its shelf destruct sequence. I'll see myself out...