Why u bean like this?

SMACK "Don't u carrot all " CRACK

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Crack Jokes More Crack Jokes

What did the eskimo say when her water broke?

Oh no, my ice cracked!

How many hippies does it take to change a lightbulb?

Please help. There are ten so far and they have invited their gross friends to our home. They are using the broken lightbulb to smoke crack off of.

Carrot Jokes More Carrot Jokes

What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...

What did the carrot say to the DJ?

Lettuce Turnip The Beet

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

What is the creepiest letter of the alphabet?

V. Because no matter where you are, any time of any day, no matter what you do, V always follows U.

Why did u shoot ur wife ?

Judge:why did u shoot ur wife instead of shootingher lover Methew:Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.

Smack Jokes More Smack Jokes

How can you get a set of teeth put in for free?

Smack a monster.

What veggies are the kids having with dinner?

Me: (Smacking the bottom of a ketchup bottle) Fresh Tomatoes...