What is orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot. :

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What's addicting?

The sound an erection makes when it hits a cymbal.

What is the sound of one hand typing?

Fap-fap-fap.

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What did the parrot say when he saw a duck?

Polly want a quacker!

Where did you get him?

The parrot says, "Detroit."

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What did the guy who didn't like vegetables say?

I don't really carrot all for vegetables."

What did celery say when he broke up with his girlfriend?

She wasn't right for me, so I really don't carrot all.