Parrot Jokes

What do you call a Magician with a Parrot?

Pollygone

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Why didn't the parrot want the black guy to buy him?

Polly want a Cracker.

What is orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot. :

Why did the pet owner get upset with his parrot?

because he was using too much fowl language

What kind of work out do parrots have on leg day?

SQUAAATS! ...Polly want a cracker.

What do you get when you combine a parrot and a centipede?

A walkie talkie!

What did the pirate tell his littler sister when she asked if she could hold his parrot?

ISIS

What do you call a parrot wearing a raincoat?

Polyunsaturated

Why do we put a hyphen in a bird-cage?

Pupil: For a parrot to perch on miss.

What's a parrot's favourite song?

I love Parrots in the Springtime!

What do you call a parrot when it has dried itself after a bath?

Polly unsaturated!

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What's the definition of Parity?

Two parrots exactly the same!

Why is it so hard to pull over on the Pirate Highway?

Because there's a parrot on the shoulder.

What happens if you cross a parrot with a Gorilla?

Nobody is sure but if it opened its mouth to speak you'd listen!

What do you get when you cross a caterpillar and a parrot?

A: A walkie-talkie.

How can you tell if a parrot is intelligent?

It speaks in Polly-syllables!

What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A: A polygon!

Whose parrot sits on his shoulder shouting "Pieces of four"?

Short John Silver!

What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker ?

A bird that talks in morse code !

Where'd you get that?

The parrot says, "In France. They're everywhere!"

Where did you get it?

Africa" Says the parrot.

Why don't parrot's like black people?

Because Polly wants a cracker.

How do you get a parrot to talk properly ?

Send him to polytechnic !

Where'd you get it?

Africa," says the parrot.

What kind of a fish does your Parrot sit on?

A Perch!

What do get if you cross a parrot and a crocodile?

A: An animal that talks your head off.

Why did the parrot wear a raincoat ?

Because she wanted to be a Polly unsaturated !

What do you get when you cross a millipede with a parrot?

A Walkie Talkie

What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot ?

A carrot !

Where'd ya get it?

The parrot says, "Africa." (I don't know if you know this one, but I just heard it today)

Whoa, cool. Where did you get him?

The parrot says, "Africa! There are loads of them running around!"

Where did you get that thing?

Parrot says, "Africa."

What is a parrot?

A wordy birdy!

Where did you get him?

The parrot says, "Detroit."

What did the parrot say when he was using the Internet?

P.Cs of eight P.Cs of eight.

What did the parrot say when he saw a duck?

Polly want a quacker!

What do you call a Parrot that loves maths and hates food?

a polynomeal

What flies through the jungle singing opera ?

The parrots of Penzance !

What did the parrot say on Independence Day?

Polly wants a firecracker!

What do you get if you cross a bee with a parrot?

An animal that's always telling you how busy it is!

Why is politics for the birds?

Because politiciands always parrot the same old lines!

What's the definition of a Polygamist?

Pupil: A parrot with more than one wife!

What do you call the place where parrots make films?

Pollywood!

What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark ?

A bird that will talk you ear off !

Why did the black man have to sell his parrot?

because polly wanted a cracker

What to you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant ?

An animal that tells you everything that it remembers !

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A Carrot.

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How does an elephant climb a tree?

A: He hides in an acorn and waits for a bird to carry him up.

Why don't violists play hide and seek?

A: Because no one will look for them.

Isis Jokes More Isis Jokes

What do you call ISIS after it has been completely destroyed?

WASWAS!

What does the ISIS donkey say?

Jihaaaad

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did Bill Cosby say when he was asked about the child abuse claims?

Kids say the darnedest things.

How can we build this?

A business major asks, "How can we finance this " A liberal arts major asks, "Do you want fries with that "

Polygon Jokes More Polygon Jokes

What's a Polygon?

A dead parrot.

Why did the polygons of Geometric Grove disapprove of their new triangle neighbor?

He was a degenerate triangle.

Pupil Jokes More Pupil Jokes

Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer?

Pupil: You told me to put it in the Net.

Why was the teacher cross-eyed?

because she couldn't control her pupils

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why do hipsters not wear cardigans anymore?

Because they wore them before it was cool.

Why do Tajikistani people wear trucker hats?

Cuz they're from Douche-anbe!

Cracker Jokes More Cracker Jokes

What did the cookie say to the cracker?

You feeling salty bro

Why did the black man have to sell his parrot?

because polly wanted a cracker

Sore Throat Jokes More Sore Throat Jokes

How did the monster cure his sore throat?

He spent all day gargoyling.

What did the pony say when he had a sore throat?

Pardon me, I'm just a little hoarse.