What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A Carrot.

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What sound does a frog make while jacking off?

Rubbit Rubbit

What sound does a dead cow make?

BOOOOOOOOOO

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Where did you get him?

The parrot says, "Detroit."

What do you call a parrot wearing a raincoat?

Polyunsaturated

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What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...

What did the guy who didn't like vegetables say?

I don't really carrot all for vegetables."