What veggies are the kids having with dinner?

Me: (Smacking the bottom of a ketchup bottle) Fresh Tomatoes...

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

How do you get a kid out from a microwave?

Please answer before my wife gets home!

How can you tell if the kid that stole your bike is half black and half polish?

He's running down the street with the bike under his arm.

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

Who's there ! Bert ! Bert who ?

Bert the dinner !

What do mechanical keyboards want for dinner?

Chicken ticka ticka ticka masala

Veggie Jokes More Veggie Jokes

What did the veggies say, as they sat down for supper?

Lettuce, pray."

What veggies are the kids having with dinner?

Me: (Smacking the bottom of a ketchup bottle) Fresh Tomatoes...

Smack Jokes More Smack Jokes

Why u bean like this?

SMACK "Don't u carrot all " CRACK

How does a blonde high-5?

A: She smacks herself in the forehead.