What happens when so-and-so step in the neutrino's urine?

He develops LEPTONspirosis.

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What happens when you offend a professor of various human aspects?

You owe them an anthrapology

Why did the Cold War never happen?

Because Joseph was Stalin.

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What's the difference between the United States and some yoghurt?

After 200 years, the Yoghurt develops a culture.

What's the difference between a yoghurt and the USA?

If left for 400 years, the yoghurt will develop a culture.