What mysterious hair product does Lucifer use to keep himself looking good?

Arcane-gel!

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What term is used to describe a phenomenon where a European mans ejaculates prematurely?

Pole Position

How can you tell if a black man has been using your computer?

It won't be there

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How do you spot a sumo at a feminist rally?

Look for the one with shaved legs....

What's really important to a bat when they are looking for a new home?

Echo-location, location, location (Replace "bat" with "zubat" if you wish.)