What's the best part of being an abortion doctor?

The free lunch.

This joke may have profanity.

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Why did the cannibal go to KFC?

He heard it was finger licking good.

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

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What's the difference between Bernie Sanders and a free lunch?

Bernie Sanders exists.