What's the best part of having kids?

Making them.

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What's the difference between a kid and a drawer?

A drawer won't scream when I force my junk into it.

Why did Subway take Jared so seriously?

It was obvious he was kidding.

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Why doesn't the Kentucky Fried Chicken use toilet paper?

It's finger licking good.

What's the best part about living in Flint, Michigan?

Leaded gasoline is pretty cheep!