What to you call a Russian flea ?

A Moscow-ito !

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Whats the difference between a Russian garbanzo bean and a Russian chickpea?

A president has never been blackmailed into treason over a video of him paying to have a Russian garbanzo bean on his face.

What do you call a Russian bovine covered in lichen?

A Moss-cow

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What do you call a russian bull?

a moscow

Why couldn't the man leave Moscow?

He was Snowden.