Whats the most handiest tool ever?

A Hand!

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Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?

On less person is drunk

Whats the difference between love, ture love, and showing off?

spit, sallow, and gargle.

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What did the digital clock say to it's Mother?

Look Ma, no hands!"

What's the difference between Belgian waffles and American waffles?

Belgium waffles crumble in the hands of German.