Where's the best place to buy jive cheese?

Monterey, Jack!

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Why shouldn't you buy underwear from the Ukraine?

Chernobyl fall out.

What do Leonardo DiCaprio &amp anyone who buys a Powerball ticket have in common?

Their odds of winning are the same

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Where's the best place in Toronto to check out girls?

Broadview*

What do you think you're doing parking your car there?

Motorist: I thought it was good place. It says "Safety Zone."

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How did Jack get rich?

His bean-stock went up.

How did Jack grow his portfolio?

He invested in beanstocks!