Why are there broken condoms on our couch???

Wife: Would you please call our children by their real names?

This joke may have profanity.

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Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

What did the hippie say when he was asked to leave the couch he was sleeping/staying on?

Namast (nah-ima-stay)

How do you keep your Thanksgiving guests from falling asleep on your couch?

Infuse the gravy with cocaine.

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?

A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

What did the U.S airdrop the the children of Syria?

Dead parents