Why couldn't the anthropologist find any Lomekwian tools?

They were looking in Oldowan places

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Where do you find monster snails?

On the end of monsters fingers.

What was Bernie Sander's favorite topic in mathematics?

Radicals. He loved finding the "root" of problems...

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Why should we hire you?

Me: Well, if you hire me, I will make all of your other employees look FANTASTIC by comparison.

What's black, blue and doesn't look too well?

Stevie Wonder

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Whats the difference between an anthropologist and a sociologist?

Anthropologists hate Western Civilization. Sociologists only hate America.

What do you call an academic who apologises all the time?

An anthropologist