Why'd the hipster burn his mouth on his coffee?

Because he drank it before it was cool.

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Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

What's the thing that is about 5-6 inches long, it goes into mouth and when you rub it back and forth it produces a white liquid?

A toothbrush.

What's 9 inches long, pink, and makes my girlfriend scream when I put it in her mouth?

Her miscarriage.