Why did the Gorilla enlist in the ragged continental army?

To avoid the draft!

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Avoid Jokes More Avoid Jokes

What brand should suicidal people clearly avoid?

Nike. Their motto says just "Just do it".

Why are Catholics the worst drivers?

They always pull out at the last second (usually to avoid a child).

Draft Jokes More Draft Jokes

Why do writers always feel cold?

Because they are surrounded by drafts!

What does one call an undertaker that's been drafted into the Military?

A Corpseman. Painfully obvious, yet a terrible play on the English language, I know. It was something I came up with a few years ago, for some unknown reason.