Why was no at the Premature Ejaculaters' support group when I arrived?

I came early.

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What Are you braging about?

I came from Chernobyl, I had a tail!

How did the frog cross the road when a truck was coming?

A: SPLAT!!! He didn't.

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What does the atheist say when he arrives at the Pearly Gates?

I'll be goddamned.

Why is Gandalf so good in bed?

Because a wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.