What's the best way to milk a sheep?

Ask Apple.

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How many 1st AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Why are you asking me that question Can't you see I'm busy!

When you go to a regular movie, a friend asks you "so how good was the movie?

When you go to an M.night Shamylan movie a friend asks " So how bad was the plot twist "

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What do Apple and the US economy have in common now?

No Jobs

How many Apple employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A lot, apparently. Have you seen their new building?

Milk Jokes More Milk Jokes

What milk does a coward make?

Craven-dale

What did the potato ask the cow?

Give me some milk, and we can make mashed potatoes.

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What's the best way to lose some pounds?

Leave the EU.

What is the best way to stop a politician?

A really strong gust of wind.

Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

How do you milk a sheep?

With iPhone periph**e**rals.

Why do Scotsmen screw their sheep by the side of a cliff?

Because they push back harder.