How about a guillotine?

Wife: Me: I'll be on the couch.

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Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

What do you get when two Samoans Fall off a couch?

Tufaloffahsofa

What did the hippie say when he was asked to leave the couch he was sleeping/staying on?

Namast (nah-ima-stay)

Guillotine Jokes More Guillotine Jokes

How do you get your partner to give you head?

Put them in a guillotine.

How about a guillotine?

Wife: Me: I'll be on the couch.