What size bed comfortably fits a married couple?

Twin. Because the husband has to sleep on the couch.

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Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What are prehistoric monsters called when they sleep ?

A dinosnore !

What do you mean you can't sleep?

It's so easy I could do it with my eyes close! Me: *walks away*

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

What is the difference between a black man and a couch?

A couch can support a family

What did the hippie say when he was asked to leave the couch he was sleeping/staying on?

Namast (nah-ima-stay)

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

Who does he look like?

I'm like, 'Your husband'

What sound does a black widow make?

My husband be dead

Fit Jokes More Fit Jokes

What did the retail employee say to the young gang member in the fitting room?

You dont fit in the hood kid.

Why can't a Blonde make Kool-Aid?

She can't fit the two cups of water into the tiny packet.

Marry Couple Jokes More Marry Couple Jokes

What's the difference between Jared Fogle's divorce and other divorces?

Most married couples tried to stay together FOR the kids. Not divorce because of them.

Where would an eccentric beverage go if it wanted to watch married couples fight and read high quality humor columns?

A: To the Drink Quirks Wed Fight.