What size bed comfortably fits a married couple?

Twin. Because the husband has to sleep on the couch.

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Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What famous band sleeps the least?

Slipknot

What is the hardest part about sleeping with twenty one year olds?

There is twenty of them

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

Why couldn't the potato get off the couch?

Because it was baked.

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

a hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What size bed comfortably fits a married couple?

Twin. Because the husband has to sleep on the couch.

What would you do if i won the lottery?

Wife: I'd take half and leave. Husband: Well here's $6 and you can start packing anytime now.

Fit Jokes More Fit Jokes

How do you fit an elephant in to a subway?

Take the 's' out of "sub" and the 'f' out of "way"

How do you fit an elephant in a Safeway bag?

Take the 'F' out of safe and the 'F' out of way.

Marry Couple Jokes More Marry Couple Jokes

What size bed comfortably fits a married couple?

Twin. Because the husband has to sleep on the couch.

Where would an eccentric beverage go if it wanted to watch married couples fight and read high quality humor columns?

A: To the Drink Quirks Wed Fight.