What size bed comfortably fits a married couple?

Twin. Because the husband has to sleep on the couch.

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Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why did the engineer buy a mattress?

To sleep under it

Why couldn't Luke get any sleep?

Because the Force Awakens

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

What do hippies say when you tell them to get off your couch?

Namaste

What does the hippy say when you try to kick them off your couch?

Namaste.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

Why isn't Spiderman in the Avengers?

Because a black widow has no husband.

What did the husband say to his wife when he tried pushing it in as much as he could, but it still wouldn't fit?

He said "I'm going to try on a different shoe size."

Fit Jokes More Fit Jokes

What other US state can fit Kansas inside of it?

Arkansas

How many dead babies can you fit in a phone booth?

78.5

Marry Couple Jokes More Marry Couple Jokes

What size bed comfortably fits a married couple?

Twin. Because the husband has to sleep on the couch.

What's the difference between Jared Fogle's divorce and other divorces?

Most married couples tried to stay together FOR the kids. Not divorce because of them.