How can you recognize a Gnome Pig?

They're the ones with the little red hats.

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What's the difference between a Zippo and a hippo?

Ones really heavy, and the other's a little lighter!

What kind of woman are the most irrational?

The ones with the golden proportions!

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What's the difference between a turkey sandwich and a ham sandwich?

A turkey sandwich doesn't recognize the Armenian genocide

How do you recognize a blonde at a car wash?

A: She's the one on her bike.