How can you tell someone's an atheist?

You can't. They'll always tell you first.

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How do you tell how rich a black man is. By how many gold chains he has, how do you tell how rich a white man is?

By how many slaves he has.

Why wasn't the patient concerned when she was told she had a brain tumor?

The doctor said it was all in her head

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What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's Witness?

Someone knocking at your door for no apparent reason.

Why are atheists so dumb?

Because if they were smart, they'd be theists!