How can you tell someone's an atheist?

You can't. They'll always tell you first.

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How do you tell if Lady Gaga is dead?

You poker face!

What do you call someone who only tells knock-knock jokes?

A Jehovah's Witness.

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Why are so many computer scientists atheists?

Because praying for a bug fix is guaranteed to fail.

Why are all Atheists poor?

Because Atheism is a not for-prophet organization.