How do you celebrate Christopher Columbus day?

Barge into your neighbor's home and claim it as yours.

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How do zombies celebrate Halloween?

They paint the town dead!

Why don't the Greeks, Slavs, and Armenians celebrate Thanksgiving?

Because they don't like Turkey

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What do you call someone who claims to do drugs to try to look cool?

A marajuannabe.

How many Atheists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to actually do it, the other to film it so fundamentalists won't claim that God did it.