What did the burglar give his wife for her birthday?

A stole.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you get when you play country music backwards?

You get your job back, you get your wife back and you get your tractor back.

What the Girlfriend, the Mistress and the Wife say Girlfriend: Are you done already?

Mistress: Are you done yet Wife: Beige... I think I'll paint the ceiling beige...

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

Why do the ghosts never win races?

Because they're always dead tired. I stole this from plain and simple. Just straight up stole it. Why? Because it made me laugh and I didn't see it posted here before.

Why should you never play Uno with a Mexican?

Because they'll steal all the green cards.

Birthday Jokes More Birthday Jokes

How do Etheopians celebrate their first birthday?

By putting flowers on the grave

Why couldn't Sally use the swings?

She had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. What did Sally get for her Birthday? We don't know, she didn't open it yet.

Burglar Jokes More Burglar Jokes

How did the burglar get into the house?

Intruder window

Which burgers are dishonest?

Cat-burgers! (burglars)