How do you cut a Emo sandwich?

Trick question, it cuts itself.

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What does a Mexican use to cut pizza with?

Little Caesars!

What do you call a big, dumb, slow guy who cuts down trees?

A lumbering oaf.

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What do you call a gangster who is really in touch with his emotions?

An emo-g

Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.