How do you find Illuminati's secret hideout?

You triangulate their position!

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What do you find on a beach?

A tangent.

What did the farmer say when the police found the gate from the public footpath in his barn and accused him of stealing?

That's not my stile.

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What did the witch say when her position was terminated?

You can't fire me! I snappopcrackleaaaaaargh!!!!

How do Japanese politicians say they got their positions?

With erections.

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What would happen if the Illuminati and Half-Life 3 agreed with each other?

Illuminati and Half-Life 3 conformed.

How an Illuminati living in the arctic is called?

An Igloominati