How do you keep an idiot busy?

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When you look in the mirror, what do you see?

Me: I see myself you friggin idiot. Let me see your degree

How do you keep a idiot waiting?

I'll tell you guys later.

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Why is a woman unlike a washing machine?

After you throw a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow you around.

What's the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?

You can throw your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you around for two weeks afterward