How do you know when a hiptser is a good secret agent?

You've never heard of him.

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How many sorority girls does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know, but it must be an odd number because, "they can't even."

What do you suppose Ray Rice's fiance' did when he got her home from knocking her out?

The dishes if she knows what's good for her!

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Why are highly successful people named Mark always so depressed?

Because they can't stop hitting themselves. This joke came to me while I was half asleep this morning. I'm not sure how original it is. I probably heard some variation of it somewhere and have just forgotten. Any suggestions for improving it?

What do you call an STD that is contracted in your ear?

Hearing AIDS