How do you tell if someone is ticklish?

Testicles.

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Why is the whole battalion yellow and slimy?

Me: I mustard the troops. General: ... Me: Just as you told me to, sir.

How can you tell if a man has a high sperm count?

You have to chew before you swallow!

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How do you know if a girl is ticklish?

Give her a testicle.

What does every Tickle Me Elmo receive before it leaves the factory?

Two testicles.