How does J.G. Wentworth tell you that he's hungry?

It's my tummy, and I feed it NOW!"

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How do you tell how rich a black man is. By how many gold chains he has, how do you tell how rich a white man is?

By how many slaves he has.

How do you congratulate the guy who won the best tie contest?

You tell him... "that's definitely a win sir". Or if he did ok you can say you half win sir i suppose. :/

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Why can't the Muslim crossdresser feed his family?

He lost hijab.

What do you feed a disappearing cat?

Evaporated milk