How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw. Edit: a word

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What is the best gift you can give your girlfriend for your anniversary?

Nothing. It's a gift she will always remember. Edit: Wording clarified (Thanks to therinnovator).

What do you get when you cross a Rat and a Mountain Climber?

Nothing, you can't cross a vector by a scalar. EDIT: changed multiply to cross.

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Why use words you don't understand in your tweets?

It just makes you look photosynthesis.

What body of water separates Italy from the word 'goodbye'?

River Derci. Sorry.