How many political idealists does it take to change a light bulb?

None, political idealists can't change anything.

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How many Librans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Er two. Or maybe one. No --- on second thoughts make that two. Is that okay with you

Why did the hipster burn his fingers?

because he changed the light bulb before it was cool

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How many Jihadists does it take to change a light bulb?

Allah them. (I googled several varations and thus far I believe I am the originator)

How many Honor Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: 22 one to screw it in 21 to shoot the bulb.