How was your first day of school?

5-year-old: Long. Me: I'm sure tomorrow will be better. 5-year-old: Wait, I have to go back

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

How many UPM's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None! If you'd just make it a day exterior we wouldn't be screwing around with all these damn light bulbs!"

What is simultaneously the best and sh*ttiest way to start your day?

Pooping

School Jokes More School Jokes

Why did the schoolteacher who was in love with head of the school take out a loan with the bank?

A: Because she had an interest in the principal.

Why did a Mexican girl get pregnant?

She was told to do an essay in school.

Tomorrow Jokes More Tomorrow Jokes

How is it May already?

Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet.

Why aren't you studying, Billy?

Billy's Mom asked him, "Well, why aren't you studying, Billy? You have an exam tomorrow!" Billy said, "Because I've already Reddit thrice."

5 Year Old Jokes More 5 Year Old Jokes

What do you call a 5 year old without any friend?

A Sandy Hook Survivor

Who wins in a fight: Goku or Superman?

Wrong, Batman always wins.   Yes, I do have the sense of humor of a 5 year old.