What "c word" describes my girlfriend and why I'm not getting any?

Carpaltunnel

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What happened to Sponge Bob Square Pants when he broke up with his girlfriend?

He went back to square one....

What do you call a girl who likes men with small d**ks?

Your girlfriend!

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What's the best language to describe the hectic holiday shopping season?

A: Russian

How do you describe every gf in one word?

K