What came before the Big Bang?

The Big Foreplay.

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How do I look?

I just came back from the beauty salon.... Husband - Well. Was it closed

What does a Catholic priest and a silver medalist have in common?

They both came in a little behind.

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What religion believes in the Big Bang?

Islam.

What is your favorite Brian Williams joke?

I was there during the big bang of the universe - Brian Williams