What did Pythagoras say about the pyramid scheme?

He just couldn't find the guys angle!

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What's worse than finding hair in your food?

Finding out the chef is bald.

Where can you find the best Black Friday deals with items at 100% off?

Ferguson!

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What has two thumbs and doesn't understand jokes that require a visual component?

This guy!

What did the guy with bad internet get?

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Why did the pharaoh retire?

Because he did not want to be part of a pyramid scheme

How did the Egyptian go broke?

He got caught up in a pyramid scheme.