What did the Mancunian abortion doctor say to the fetus?

Don't look back in hanger"

This joke may have profanity.

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What do you call a clean, good looking well behaved monster?

a failure!

How do Vampires buy pants if they can't look in a mirror?

Now, I tweet them

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What did one hungry unborn baby say to the other?

Fetus

What did the doctor say when he saw two fetuses being too affectionate in public?

Get a womb, you two."

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Why do you never see a pregnant plane?

They always go to the hanger.

What does getting pregnant and locking your car keys in your car have in common?

They can both be fixed with a coat hanger.

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What do you call a friendly Mancunian midwife?

Ultra sound