What did the physicist say to the depressed hippy?

There's no such thing as negative energy"

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Whats the first thing you do when you spill something on your keyboard?

Try to disable sticky keys.

What is the first thing off the truck at a trailer fire?

A: Lawn chair.

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What did the physicist say when he tried to meditate?

Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm...

What did the nihilist say to the physicist?

Nevermind, it doesn't really matter.