What did the physicist say to the depressed hippy?

There's no such thing as negative energy"

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What is the first thing off the truck at a trailer fire?

A: Lawn chair.

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?

Not being retarded

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What did the physicist say when he tried to meditate?

Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm...

What did the physicist have for lunch?

Fission chips.