What's the thing u don't tell a vampire?

Bite me.

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why can't you use sarcasm with a kleptomaniac?

Because they take things literally.

What's the first thing a cannibal does in the morning?

Grab a cup of joe.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell someone hates vegans, cross fitters, and atheists?

Don't worry, they'll repost a joke about it.

Why do people procrastinate?

I'll tell you later.

Bite Jokes More Bite Jokes

When do vampires bite you?

On Wincedays.

How do you keep a ghoul from biting his nails?

A: Replace the nails with screws.

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

What do you call a vampire after it is one-year-old?

A two-year-old vampire.

Why is it difficult to punish vampires?

They can't reflect on what they've done.

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

Where were u on the nite of the 5th?

Stabbing a guy. "Louder for the tape." leans in Grabbing a pie. I went out for pie.

What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it?

A coconut.