What's the thing u don't tell a vampire?

Bite me.

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an atheist, an insomniac?

A person that lays awake late at night and ponders if there's such a thing as a dog.

Why do beaches not get sarcasm?

Because they always take things littorally

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why don't Germans tell jokes about sausage?

Because they are the wurst.

How can you tell that a baker's hands are on fire?

He can't seem to *stop droppin' rolls*.

Bite Jokes More Bite Jokes

Why couldn't the Gorilla pitcher make it in the major leagues?

His balk was worse than his bite!

Why hasn't any lawyer ever been bitten by a shark?

Professional courtesy.

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

Why did the vampire go to the doctors?

Because he was coffin...

How do Vampires Make Tea?

Used Tampons

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

Where u going?

M: Do u have ANY idea how much paperwork I've got to do

What did the douchebag say to the chemist when he dropped his beaker?

U mad scientist?